Week three
Bench pressing a dead hobo would have been easier than showing up at that first exercise class. I have done a BUNCH of exercise in my life. Heck, I am a pro at the first exercise class. It’s the 20th that I generally have problems with. So I know the lingo. I know generally the correct form. I thought I even knew the equipment. Spoiler Alert : I did not know the equipment.
In all honestly I burned more calories worrying about that first class than I did taking it. I’m not really sure how to explain it. I just really felt like I was taking a first step into something really life changing. I briefly considered moving out of the county to get out of it. The idea of changing your life is only exciting in novels. In real life it is scary as hell.
Our class began meeting at our local community center. It was just 4 women and Jen, the trainer. I was definitely the most out of shape of the group. This wasn’t surprising and didn’t bother me. They were real women. Different shapes. Different levels of fitness. I liked them all immensely immediately.
We started on the treadmills. Everyone jumped on to warm up. I had never in my entire 4 decades been on a treadmill. They look simple enough, right? Mine had a huge button that said “Quick Start”. I’m smart enough to figure that one out. From there it got dicey though. The machine started very slowly. The other ladies were happily walking, swinging their arms, chatting with one another. Meanwhile I was in a panic. Why were my feet moving so weirdly? Why was this so much harder than I ever imagined? Could I have asked my always helpful trainer for help? Yes. Did I? Nope. I was far too proud to admit that I could not navigate on the most ubiquitous piece of exercise equipment in the world. Look ya’ll, if you adopt a 3 year old from Uganda, he will be able to jump on a treadmill and get going. But I was failing fast. I was envisioning a viral Youtube video entitled “fat lady can’t work a treadmill!!!!”. Finally after shuffling my feet for a few minutes, Jen suggested I up the speed a bit. I thought “Well sure, I’m clearly so awesome at this walking deal. Why not go faster?” But, as usual, she was right. Speeding up the treadmill actually made it easier to use. If you don’t believe me jump on a treadmill and try to walk at a speed under 1.0. It ain’t easy friends.
Once the treadmill crisis was behind me, the rest of the class was actually do-able. I said do-able…not enjoyable. That part would take a good while longer.
So week three went well. No funerals so…yay!! No snow days. No scale yet. Maybe next week. Maybe not. I’m feeling good so I hate to let that machine ruin it.
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