Archives for November 2012

Forgive

It finally happened.

8 years and 11 months later, my ex husband apologized to me.

Honestly, I never thought I would hear those words.  A few years ago, someone asked him if he was ever gonna tell me he was sorry and his response was something like “I haven’t done anything to be sorry about.”

And I wasn’t exactly waiting on an apology.  When friends and family would lament his lack of contrition, I always thought to myself. “What good could words possibly do?”  How could a collection of letters knit themself together and heal the wounds he had caused?  I found the whole idea simply ludicrous.  All that pain.  All that rejection.  So much worry.  So much sorrow.  Words could not even begin to heal me.

But as he said those words, I realized something.  “I’m sorry” can’t eradicate pain.  It can’t change history.  It cannot right wrongs.  But those words can validate a painful experience.  God had healed me a long time ago.  He used Kevin to show me that love was real and still more powerful than any other force in the universe.  And for that I am thankful.

But hearing an apology was like taking a band-aid off a horrible wound and finding only an impressive scar.

Book Review – The Casual Vacancy

I hated this book so hard.

I did not approach this book thinking it would be anything like Rowling’s Harry Potter series.  I say that because all the glowing reviews of this piece of drivel on Amazon assume this is the reason that people don’t like it.  Some reviewers have even compared this to The Grapes of Wrath or Great Expectations.  To this, my only response can be : “What are you smoking?”

The Casual Vacancy is about small town politics.  And it’s also about just horrible people.  Is this real life?  I really hope not.  Because this is the saddest bunch of humans I have ever encountered.

The story, in itself, is fairly interesting.  A small town trying desperately to stay insulated from a bigger city to somehow retain their facade of virtue and goodness.  And to give JK Rowling credit…she writes some fine sentences. 

But, in the end, I think she was just trying too hard to prove that she could write an adult novel.  Using the most graphic language over and over again doesn’t make something ‘grown up’.  And it just seems like someone who is talented enough to create Harry Potter oughta know that.

Bible Tuesday – David Part 29

Let’s see if we can catch up here.  After the census debacle, David begins to amass materials and workers to build God’s temple. 

Then he called for Solomon his son and charged him to build a house for the Lord, the God of Israel. David said to Solomon, “My son, H)’>‘You have shed much blood and have waged great wars. You shall not build a house to my name, because you have shed so much blood before me on the earth. Behold, a son shall be born to you who shall be a man of rest. J)’>For his name shall be Solomon, and I will give peace and quiet to Israel in his days. L)’>He shall be my son, and I will be his father, and I will establish his royal throne in Israel forever.’
1 Chronicles 22:6-10

David appoints Solomon to be the next King of Israel.  When you think about Solomon, try to remember that he is the second son of David and Bathsheba.  I think Solomon is God’s way of reminding us that He can fulfill His purpose despite all our nonsense.  God could have raised up the next King from any one of David’s other wives.  But He didn’t.

Yet the Lord God of Israel J)’>forever. L)’>house, and among my father’s sons he took pleasure in me to make me king over all Israel. And of N)’>has chosen Solomon my son to sit on the throne of the kingdom of the Lord over Israel.He said to me, ‘It is P)’>forever D)’> all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.F)’> for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:28-29

The truth is that I have been wandering in this desert for FAR too long.  And it is killing me. I feel that it is finally time to stop focusing on hunger and concentrate on my thirst.  I am spiritually, mentally and emotionally dehydrated.  I am so blessed to have family and friends who ‘splash’ me every day with love, acceptance, wisdom and support.  But at the end of it all, this is not their problem.  I am the one in the desert.  And I know the only way to survive is to get to the well.

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”I)’> and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.K)’> welling up to eternal life.”I'm a mom.
A married mom
A step-mom
A marching band mom
A color guard mom
A blogging mom
A vacuuming mom
A curmudgeonly mom
Also I love Jesus...big time