Archives for February 2013

I have been rejected.

I entered this series in a Christian writing contest a few weeks ago. 

They picked 30 finalists.

Apparently I was 31.  (They didn’t actually tell me I was 31st, I have just decided to believe that.)

One of the chosen manuscripts was titled Kids, Dogs and Kitchen Disasters. 

Another was Please Pass the Aspirin.

Seriously.

I lost to books about dogs and aspirin.

If ever I had a problem with arrogance, I feel confident I have been cured of that affliction.
(And don’t get me wrong, those books might be awesome.  I’m sure they took lots of work and don’t deserve to be made fun of by me. But come on.  Those titles just drip Lifeway best seller, don’t they?)

But I am so glad that I entered this deal.  Because it’s exactly the kind of thing I would NEVER do .  Pressing the ‘Send’ Button to enter that contest was saying “I think what I have created is important enough for you to read.”  And if you know me even a little bit, then you know what a leap of faith that was for me.

So Glutton continues.  It may not be an every week deal.  (I know you will be shocked but I often have not one dang thing to say.) 

I am planning a book for when I get skinny though.  The working title is “How I kicked fat right in the butt and you can too!”  I would think about pre-ordering if I was you.

Can we talk about the birthday cake?

That cake taunted me. Cake is like my abusive ex – boyfriend.  I know it’s wrong.  I know it will hurt me.  I know the whole deal will end badly.  But it just feels so good. 

So despite myself, we had a great celebration meal. The whole evening was just fun. I ate the foods I planned to have and was absolutely satisfied.  I served piece after piece of that delicious cake to my friends and family.  I even served them ice cream to go with it.  And ya’ll…I hardly hated their guts at all for being able to eat it.

But then everyone left and I was alone in the kitchen…with the cake.  This scenario has ended badly for me approximately 743 times in the past.  I rinsed off plate after plate of cake.  Most of the kids had wasted their piece.  Just whole buttercream roses left abandoned on their plate.  It caused me physical pain to wash those delicacies down the drain.  But I did it.  And so finally the kitchen was clean and I had no other recourse but to face the cake.

I wanted that cake so bad. ( And, yes, I am ashamed to admit that I think about cake this much.  But my goal here is freedom and personal embarrassment is a small price to pay.)

And wanting that cake taught me an interesting lesson.  You see I was completely full from my meal.  I was not, in the least, hungry.  My appetite was wholly satisfied.  But my desire for that cake was completely unrelated to my appetite. 

How often do we allow desire to destroy us?  How much have we ruined in our lives by allowing things we want to overshadow what we need and , more often than not, what we already have?

In the end, I prevailed.  I ate no cake.  And you know what?  I have made peace with the fact that I may never lose my desire for buttercream roses.  But giving in to every desire is just bondage disguised as personal fulfillment.

So if you are keeping score.  It’s birthday cake – 743   Rachel – 1

Things are pretty boring here in gluttonville.

Which I suppose is a good thing.  I did have a close call this week.  And perhaps that situation bears examining.

We were at a Tex-Mex restauraunt.  I had heard nothing but good things about this place but I didn’t go in there with any intention of hurling myself off the clean eating bandwagon.  I actually have over 6 weeks with no food slip ups…which is probably some kind of record.

So I sat down with confidence.

And then they brought two baskets of chips to the table.

Jesus take the wheel.

Normally chips do not tempt me.  I like them but honestly, I could care less.  But these chips were different.  They were thin.  As in so wafer like that I could see through them.  They were clearly fresh.  As in they glistened with oil.  They were salty.  As in my friend Lauren sprinkled them liberally.  But even through all that, I perservered. 

Then I opened the menu.  This establishment has an entree entitled “Elvis’ Fried Chicken”.  Let me try to explain something to you.  Elvis was not only the King of Rock and Roll…he was also King of the gluttons.  So when you see an item named after him on a menu, do yourself a favor and just order it because I can pretty well guarantee you, some good eatin is in your future. 

So as my friends talked, I began planning an epic fail.  First I would eat the chips.  I would not eat all of the chips but I would eat enough that my friends would begin texting each other behind my back and possibly posting about it on Facebook.  Then I would order the Elvis entree.  And I would eat half of it and then take the rest home to possibly eat in the car. But that wasn’t all.  You see I had a birthday celebration planned the next night for my bestie.  I had already ordered the cake.  Why not spread this failure over 36 hours?  I imagined the crappy cereal I would eat for breakfast.  Captain Crunch!!!Bliss!!!  The Chick-fil-A spicy combo I would have for lunch.  Perfection!!!  My delicious pasta and meatballs for dinner with two pieces of garlic bread.  OMG!!!  And finally, my ultimate ending with sweet, sweet birthday cake.  MUST EAT ALL THE ROSES!!!   Then I would be right back on track first thing on Sunday.  Right?!?!? 

Wrong.  (Do you know I have never got ‘right back on track first thing on Sunday’ in the history of ever?)  Why do I try to convince myself this is even a possibility?

The waitress arrived and I ordered the meal I originally planned on.  I ate no chips.  I ate a totally satisfying lunch.  It was great and I didn’t feel deprived. And all I can tell you is that it was definitely not my will power.  Because my will was to eat those friggin chips.  But God’s will and God’s power serve a higher purpose for me.  I have been ignoring that fact for far too long.

Next week we’ll talk about that birthday cake. 

Lord have mercy.