Archives for November 2013

Can we talk about ‘the rapture’ for a minute?  This is one of those topics that will get you uninvited to social events…which is cool with me because I don’t like people anyway.  The idea of a large percentage of the world population simply disappearing is just a weird deal. I get that.  And, no, for you contrarians, I cannot prove to you biblically that this is a real thing.

For those of you who are completely lost, most Christians believe in the concept of ‘the rapture’.  Simply put, we believe God is going to call us up to heaven en masse.  We mostly all believe it, we just like to argue about when it is going to happen.  In case you are inclined to believe that we just made this whole deal up, here are a few verses that we feel support this belief.

And then this: We can tell you with complete confidence—we have the Master’s word on it—that when the Master comes again to get us, those of us who are still alive will not get a jump on the dead and leave them behind. In actual fact, they’ll be ahead of us. The Master himself will give the command. Archangel thunder! God’s trumpet blast! He’ll come down from heaven and the dead in Christ will rise—they’ll go first. Then the rest of us who are still alive at the time will be caught up with them into the clouds to meet the Master. Oh, we’ll be walking on air! And then there will be one huge family reunion with the Master. So reassure one another with these words.

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18

But let me tell you something wonderful, a mystery I’ll probably never fully understand. We’re not all going to die—but we are all going to be changed. You hear a blast to end all blasts from a trumpet, and in the time that you look up and blink your eyes—it’s over. On signal from that trumpet from heaven, the dead will be up and out of their graves, beyond the reach of death, never to die again. At the same moment and in the same way, we’ll all be changed. In the resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: everything perishable taken off the shelves and replaced by the imperishable, this mortal replaced by the immortal.

1 Corinthians 15:51-57

My point (and I do have one) is that passages like this one strengthen my belief in the idea of the rapture.  Take a look.

“Meanwhile, I’ll provide my two Witnesses. Dressed in sackcloth, they’ll prophesy for 1,260 days. These are the two Olive Trees, the two Lampstands, standing at attention before God on earth. If anyone tries to hurt them, a blast of fire from their mouths will incinerate them—burn them to a crisp just like that. They’ll have power to seal the sky so that it doesn’t rain for the time of their prophesying, power to turn rivers and springs to blood, power to hit earth with any and every disaster as often as they want.

Revelation 11:1-6

So during all this horrible armageddon-y stuff going on in the world, two guys are going to start causing even more trouble in Jerusalem.  They are basically going to be a couple of street preachers who just happen to have the power to INCINERATE PEOPLE WITH FIRE FROM THEIR MOUTH!!!!  They will also be able to turn rivers to blood and cause disasters on earth.   If the Earth is still populated by a whole bunch of Christians, it seems like some of us might be on the phone with our non-believing friends and family politely suggesting that it may be time to get right with the Lord.

When they’ve completed their witness, the Beast from the Abyss will emerge and fight them, conquer and kill them, leaving their corpses exposed on the street of the Great City spiritually called Sodom and Egypt, the same City where their Master was crucified. For three and a half days they’ll be there—exposed, prevented from getting a decent burial, stared at by the curious from all over the world. Those people will cheer at the spectacle, shouting ‘Good riddance!’ and calling for a celebration, for these two prophets pricked the conscience of all the people on earth, made it impossible for them to enjoy their sins.

“Then, after three and a half days, the Living Spirit of God will enter them—they’re on their feet!—and all those gloating spectators will be scared to death.”

 I heard a strong voice out of Heaven calling, “Come up here!” and up they went to Heaven, wrapped in a cloud, their enemies watching it all. At that moment there was a gigantic earthquake—a tenth of the city fell to ruin, seven thousand perished in the earthquake, the rest frightened to the core of their being, frightened into giving honor to the God-of-Heaven.

Still with me?  Let me try to sort this out.  So the two street preachers do their thing for about 3 1/2 years.  Then they are killed.  Their dead bodies lay in the street for 3 1/2 days.  See the part where it says they will be stared at by the curious from all over the world?  Remember when this was written?  John is writing this before 100 AD.  Just in case you are confused, there was no streaming internet in 100 AD.  When John writes that people all over the world will stare at something, don’t you think he was wondering how in the world that could happen?

I love the next little part.  The people cheer the death of the prophets because they made it impossible for them to enjoy their sins.

Ya’ll…I could, for real, write a book on just that phrase. But I’m not going to because I am busy.

Then after those dead bodies lay in the street with all of us watching on our laptops for three dang days, God is gonna call them up to heaven wrapped in a cloud. A cloud!!!

So I’m not saying that I 100% know the rapture is a real thing or that I have any idea when it is happening.  But I am suggesting that if this scenario plays out as it is written and there are still a bunch of Baptists left on Earth, it’s gonna be hard for us not to say “I told ya so!”