Archives for January 2015

“Where do you want to take this body?”, Jen asked.

A simple question with a complicated answer.

The first thing that entered my mind.  Senior Night.  October 2015.  My oldest daughter will be a senior in high school next year.  (SERIOUSLY I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW!) And for the last 4 years I have watched from my post in the concession stand as the current seniors get recognized on the football field with their parents.  It’s not a formal event.  If your kid isn’t involved you are very likely skipping the ceremony to stand in line for delicious Texas cheese fries (our specialty!)

From the very first time I watched this process, I thought “Surely I won’t still be fat when it’s Savannah’s turn.”  And year after year, I had the same thought.  And now that moment is 9 months away.

My daughter will not be ashamed of me if I am still the exact same size next October.  No one will point or make fun of me.  Honestly almost all people in the world never even think about me at all.

But I want to celebrate that moment with my child without shame.  I want to focus  on what a fantastic woman she has become.  I want to celebrate her hard work and perseverance.  And I don’t want to think about myself at all.  I don’t want to spend hours picking an outfit that will hide me.  I don’t want to tug on my clothes during the whole deal in an obsessive attempt to make sure all parts are covered at all times. I want to get my picture taken with that beautiful kid and post it on Facebook.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to Jen’s question.  I’m sure some people in the class envisioned a marathon, or a 5k or some other really awesome fitness goal.  Others were possibly thinking of a class reunion, a wedding or some other pressure filled social event.

But I want to take my body to my life.  To the boring day in, day out nonsense that we weave together to form our existence.  I want to take my body to the grocery store, to the library, to the post office, to church.  I want to take this body everywhere I go.  And look, if I get to take it in skinny jeans and a crop top, I’m ok with that .

Ok, here we are 2 days into 2015.  My first goal year is over but I ain’t finished yet.

So let’s take a look at the numbers for 2014.

• Pounds lost – 37
• Workouts Completed – 156 (This is an educated guess.  It may have been more.  It definitely wasn’t less.)
• Times I wanted to quit – 300
• Times I actually quit – 0
• Number of people living in my house on January 1, 2014 – 6
• Number of people living in my house on January 1, 2015 – 9
• Number of times the 9 people living in my house almost drove me to alcoholism – 546,785,680
• Number of unmodified push ups I could do on January 1, 2014 –  0
• Number of unmodified push ups I could do on January 1, 2015 – 13  (TAKE THAT HIGH SCHOOL GYM TEACHER!!!)
• Pants size lost – 3  ( I am ridiculously close to being able to share jeans with my daughters.  I am thrilled by this.  They are not thrilled in the least.)

Obviously I wish that first number was different.  I wish I could have declared victory with a glass of calorie free club soda while wearing a sequined pair of hot pants on New Year’s Eve.  I also wish I owned a pair of sequined hot pants.  But I digress…

I did  consider lying and calling it a 40 pound loss for the year because, for some reason, 40 just seems like a lot more than 37?  But it’s a bit late in the game for me to start lying now.  It is what it is.  A 37 pound loss for the year.  I’m not upset, or ashamed or depressed by this.

But I am determined to charge forward into the new year. Don’t worry.  I’ve learned my lesson.  My goal is not to lose 100 pounds in 2015.

I have a new resolution.

I am going to lose 63 pounds in 2015.

This number is based on hard science including metabolic changes, hormonal abnormalities and caloric equations.  I calculated macros, ketos, ratios, and Oreos.

Just kidding.

I just subtracted the amount I lost in 2014 from my original 100 pound goal.

Life is complicated enough.  Best to keep a diet as simple as possible.

Jon Acuff (my internet bestie) is calling 2015 the “Do Over” year.  And I love the concept.  But for me, 2015 isn’t about restarting, recommitting or rededicating.

2015 is just my year of  “…to be continued.”