2014

Wanna hear something completely nuts?

 

I am going to lose 100 pounds this year.

 

No.  Seriously.

 

At this point I assume you have 1 of 2 possible responses.

1. How friggin fat are you?

2. How in the world are you going to do that?

And the answers are:

1.  Pretty dang fat

2.  I’m just going to do it.

This idea washed over me in spin class tonight. (More on the spin thing later.  Much more.  Trust me.)  My first thought was that the goal was quite simply ridiculous.  That’s because the moment I visualized a goal of losing such a massive amount of weight, my old enemy began whispering in my ear.

Fear said “You must be joking.  You have failed at every resolution you have ever made. You have lost and gained more weight than 90% of America.  You will humiliate yourself when you fail at this again.  Losing weight is the ultimate resolution cliche. This isn’t just stupid, it’s impossible.”

And at that moment I remembered this.

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:20

And then this.

Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.”

You may actually recognize the more popular translation of that verse.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26

Let me just tell you.  This revelation caused me to simultaneously laugh and cry (which I totally played off as a coughing fit because if you start crying in spin class the trainer will likely call the EMTs)

Have you ever seen any data on the success of people losing lots of weight?  It’s pretty dismal.

Any guesses on the data of ME losing weight?  Trust me, it ain’t good.

But none of these things move me.

For far too long I have assumed my sin was gluttony.  But maybe the bigger sin was believing my God was too small.

You see I have been asking God to help me move the anthill while He has been longing for me to trust him to move the mountain.

And understand that I am not scared of failing.  I fail all the time.  It don’t bother me a bit.

But I am absolutely terrified of not trying.

So if you find yourself praying for me to succeed, thank you in advance. (And be vigilant around March or April.  This ain’t my first rodeo.  Hell, it ain’t even my 20th rodeo.  I know very well when resolutions get hard.)

If you happen to be someone hoping I fail, well all I can say is that you are a butthole.  Please quit reading my blog.  I have a strict “No Buttholes’ policy.

I know this will be hard.  I know the chance of success is slim.  You might even say it would be a miracle if I actually achieve this.

“Sanctify yourselves. Tomorrow God will work miracle-wonders among you.”

Joshua 3:5