I’ve been thinking a lot about the mountain this week. Remember the mountain from 15 weeks ago? It’s the one I was so convinced that God would move. I even chastised myself for not trusting Him to move it.
It’s still there. And honestly it seems a whole lot bigger now.
It’s easy for me to tell you how far I have come. There has been real measurable success. But I find myself sitting at the base of this mountain feeling like an abject failure. And from where I sit now, the road ahead looks so much harder the the distance I have already traveled.
I’m doing everything I am ‘supposed’ to do. (What does that even mean?) But this week everything just seems hard. Things at the gym that used to be manageable now seem overwhelming. I’m second guessing every piece of food I put in my mouth. I have multiple tabs open on my computer as I search for ‘lap band surgery”, ” Biggest Loser Auditions” and “Buy all the supplements Dr Oz has ever mentioned”. And the hardest thing to accept is that there is no exit strategy. I blown up the bridge behind me. There is no going back.
God is not going to move the mountain.
He wants me to climb it.
The climb is not the punishment, it’s the gift. And I should be rejoicing that God has given me the ability to achieve this goal. But I’m ashamed to admit that I really just wanted a miracle. I don’t mean a “wake up one day magically one hundred pounds lighter and physically fit’ kind of miracle. I was thinking more along the lines of a ‘work out, make good choices and wake up six months later thin and healthy’ kinda deal.
This was the basic direction of my discussion with God during spin class. I bet I pray more on the bike than the preacher who takes classes with me. And as I pedaled through the possibly hardest workout ever listening to my trainer try to motivate me with every uplifting quote in her arsenal, God dropped this on me.
“YOU are the miracle.”
Ya’ll. I. Cannot. Even…
But at that moment, things began to clarify for me.
Carbs are not the miracle.
Calories are not the miracle.
Spinning and strength training are not the miracle.
The miracle is this body that God has designed to repair, renew and (eventually) resurrect.
I am the miracle.
And when the miracle meets the mountain? Things might start getting interesting…
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