I got a glimpse of how easy it would be to quit.
Of course I have quit many attempts regarding weight loss many, many times in my life. But this time is different. Even with my slow progress, I must admit I’m a bit cocky about this process. I just refuse to accept failure as an option.
So when I went out of town for a MUCH needed vacation with my husband, I wasn’t concerned in the least about my goal. I have been a steady presence at the gym for 15 months. I have gone on several vacations during that time. I go. I come back. It’s never been an issue.
But this time I went. I came home. And I could not bring myself to go back to the gym. The first day back I was like a jetlagged zombie. I just wandered around the house attempting to unpack and re-acclimate myself to life. And that’s ok. But day 2 dawned and ya’ll…
I. Just. Could. Not.
I honestly have no idea why.
I had a great trip. I won’t insult you by suggesting that I ate nothing but kale and unsalted almonds the whole week. But I actually did pretty well. And by ‘well’ I mean I wasn’t double dunking doughnuts in the 700 area Starbucks. I take my victories where I can get them friends.
And I wasn’t dreading going back to the gym. I didn’t actually even think about it.
Missing the first day was no big deal. I’m a busy person. I didn’t feel 100%.
Wanna know the scariest part? Missing the second day was even easier. I didn’t even feel the need for an excuse.
By the third day, something had to give. I trudged through the house, retrieved my workout clothes (i.e pajamas) and laced up my shoes.
I drove to the gym and developed a pounding headache. It’s probably dangerous to get on the spin bike with a blinding migraine that might be a brain ailment, right? But I did. And the pain just got worse for the next 50 minutes. And when that workout was over, I still had a headache. Apparently those mighty endorphins are not the miraculous things we were led to believe. I’m convinced skipping the exercise wouldn’t have cured the headache either. And if I had skipped class for the third time with no good excuse, how much easier would it be to skip the 4th or the 5th? I am so thankful that my vacation from the gym was not permanent.
I see how it happens now. Nobody plans to quit. Nobody wakes up and says “Sure, I’ll keep paying for that membership for the next ten months but I am never going back.” Nobody buys an overpriced treadmill with the intention of using it for 6 weeks and then allowing it to fill them with guilt and shame for a year before finally sacrificing it to Craigslist. Nobody does it on purpose.
They say (whoever ‘they’ are) that it takes 30 days to form a habit but I disagree.
I think it takes a lifetime. Because it’s only a habit until you stop doing it.
